Letter to Eric Flint (draft)

Dear Eric Flint,
illustrious writer, etc.(need archaic headings?)

I would like to thank you for your many enjoyable stories. You are definitely in my top ten as far as writers go and I always look forward to seeing what you put out. I would also like to thank you for the plethora of old stories that you have edited so that they are back in print (Christopher Anvil's Interstellar Patrol stories are amongst my favorites). Your energy, drive and the shear amount of material that you are putting out amaze and delight me.

But, are you ever going to get back to your Joe's World series? Don't you know that you could suddenly pop off and then where would we be? We are talking about the duty to your creation here. I understand that there is not as much of a following, that the high humor in Joe's World is truly only savored by a few. I understand the cries of the masses, the myriad of intriguing projects, the wonderful authors that are just clamoring to work with you. But do you not realize that Joe's World is a priceless gem that can only be told by you! No one else has the twisted imagination, the dripping satire, the ability to drown on and on and on and on and on and on till just before the point that one screams and throws the book across the room. In no other fantasy series have I ever had to look up words every few minutes. No other fantasy cries forth with such interesting, intriguing, demented, unforgetable characters. These books are after all one of the very few series that I have actually purchased multiple copies and then inflicted upon others (And yes inflicted is the right word). I have even read chapters of the books over the phone.

So please, could you consider moving the Joe's World series closer to the top of your to do list (the top would be real nice). Once you do so I can stop the considering of mayhem, murder and mass destruction. No more thoughts of mass Nerf gun strikes, and above all no more pleading letters!

Thank You ...

Notes for draft 2:

• No forum
• Sayings of the Wise Man - does no one else collect?
• Comparing characters to reality - Sfondrati-Piccolomini and Laebmauntsforcynneweëld
• Have thought of designing a series of cross-stitch's for Benvenuti's confessions under torture.

Sayings of the Wise Man

Here is a list of Sayings of the Wise Man from Eric Flint's Joe's World series.

I, of course, am hoping (praying, pleading, planning murder strife and mayhem) that Eric will eventually come back and finish the series (2 out of 5 is not good). Most of these are from The Philosophical Strangler as Ignace was always fond of quoting him. I hope I haven't missed any.

1. Big frogs in little ponds are prone to suicide.
2. Folly ever comes cloaked in opportunity.
3. Wherefore profit it a man to be learned, if he remains stupid in his mind?
4. Greater greed is the greedy man's gratuity.
5. Wisdom drops dead. Stupid shit'll haunt you forever.
6. Some're fast, some're slow, and some dummies can't even find the starting gate.
7. It's all nuts, anyway.
8. Fun's fun, but money's money.
9. Every storm drowns a few rats.
10. Why waste a good excuse on a dummy?
11. Pissing on 'em's fine, but don't drown 'em.
12. A braggart and his brag are soon parted.
13. Better to be the shitter than the shittee.
14. Never try to think of the worst thing that couldhappen. It's bound to be worse than that anyway.
15. I hate to be the one to break the news to you, General, but you're a foot soldier.
16. If you want to stay out of trouble, don't trouble yourself.
17. Never try to reason with a love-struck man, when he's got hands the size of bulldogs.
18. You've got to know when to hold them, and when to fold them, and when you haven't even got enough to ante up.
19. Don't ask. Just don't.
20. Idiots never remember the fatal word—later.
21. Every silver lining has a cloud.
22. Don't bother looking for trouble. It'll find you all on its own.
23. When troubles come, they come not in single spies but battalions.
24. You want to relax? Drop dead.
25. When the cat looks like it's swallowed the canary, start chirping.
26. Never stand between a scholar and his subject. Stampeding buffalo would be trampled.
27. Cheap shots are life's bargains.
28. Misery conscripts company.
29. The only scientific definition of evil is that you can't ignore it.
30. Lackey once, you'll lackey forever.
31. Shit happens.
32. Always kill two birds with one stone! There's a lot more silly chirping birds than there are good stones.
33. Anybody named 'they' has got to be an idiot.